There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Glorifying Abba Doodle With Trash

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Memorial For Abba Doodle

Now this truly fucking breaks my heart. When I first saw this cross my hopes were lifted sky high; only to have them crash down because bumpkins in the middle of Missouri don't have the internet yet.

This cross was at US Hwy 169 and State Hwy Z, in the middle of fucking no where Missouri where some guy named Wilken is up for County Commissioner. That and the two words on the cross all I had to go on. But with this name:

Abba Doodle

You'd think I'd find at least a Myspace post or an AOL hometown site (holy fuck, I am old) that mentioned Abba Doodle's passing. Even if Abba Doodle was a god damn dog, or horse or pet goat or domesticated pig. But no, jack-gosh-darn-fucking crud when you Alta Vista it.

Stop voting for status quo county commissioners and get your shit together and online, middle of fucking nowhere Missouri.

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Direct all hate mail to jason@porkjerky.com and remember to attach naked pictures of your grandmother to guarantee a quick response. The more pink the better.
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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.