Do You Like Pina Coladas?

Fuck you and your intellectual uppitiness. I unapologetically and without embarrassment love reality TV shows. Double fuck you to all you pretentious fucks who claim to not watch TV at all. I even love the obviously scripted reality shows—I can suspend my disbelief like nobody’s business. There’s something about knowing that people’s actions don’t exist […]

I'm a pioneer in the field of being an asshole: To this day I am the only person to break off an engagement via the JumboTron at a sporting event.