The Case Of The Phantom Poo

Here’s a mystery for you Nancy Drew. Where’s my shit? I swear to your favorite deity that I spent a good 90 seconds slowly coaxing a turd from my ass. I swear. Got the soiled toilet paper to prove it. I shit. I honestly shit. Right? Please tell me I didn’t hallucinate a crap. I […]

My ability to aggrandize my importance through ostentatiously pretentious vocabulary while conveying vacuous ideas can be surmised from this self-referencing, self-fulfilling sentence which utilizes words like 'utilizes' and 'behoove' to behoove my demonstration of my ability to convey vacuous ideas with ostentatiously pretentious vocabulary.