Literally Wrong, Virtually Legal


    Email Page To Someone   Create A Link For This Page   Be An Idiot, Click Here
The Best Roadside Cross Picture Porkjerky.com Main Page Submit A Roadside Memorial The Best Roadside Cross Story A Face Only A Hooker Could Love Porkjerky.com Banner Ad Network Breakup Letter Generator

Jesus In Piss Masterpieces They Ain't
Have Some White Meat, Trust Me On This

But I Still Call It Art

Some of my material may contain language or ideas that are offensive to you. If you have a hard time finding any that do offend you please write me at jason@porkjerky.com with the names and photos (.jpg or .gif format) of any or all of your dead loved ones or possibly a dearly loved living grandmother. I am more than happy to invent and illustrate a hilariously graphic scenario in which you and I, together, have deviant and brutal sex with them\her. Please enjoy the following and god bless.

The Most Offensive Politically Correct Jokes Ever

There I was in sensitivity training class, doodling swatiskas and daydreaming about subjugating those with different genders, races, ethnicities and sexual orientations than me. Unfortunately, some of the things the fat, middle-aged, asexual troll leading the class said got through to me. The resulting jokes are spectactular.

The Assholes Of The Fountains Of Bellagio

About 32 times a day, every day; in the full view of the world, the most beautiful thing humanity has ever created, gets its soul gang raped by that same humanity.

An Unauthorized Autobiography

My trumped up biography, full of half-truths and cool embelishments that fuel my raging, well-deserved ego. Click above to view my story and fall in awe of my amazing feats that prove how much more better I am than you, although you probably don't deserve to. Man my dick is huge.

9/11 Remembrance

They were right, after September 11th, everything changed. Back was forward, forward was back, back went back to being back and people started puking and crapping american flags and yellow ribbons everywhere. Which, is just what those virgin-fucking terrorists wanted. Fuck that. In tribute and defiance of America and the terrorists respectively, or vice versally, I decided to not let them win. Every September 11th I am pulling porkjerky.com down and replacing it with this page. Hell just got a little hotter for you cocksucking hijackers didn't it?

Fuck You & Your Uppity Web Site


Uglier than a retard on fire is more like it. Turns out any douchebag with a digital camera, a library card and 5 bucks a month for hosting can post pictures on the internet. What a truly enlightened and fulfilling age we are in. Listed below are all the pages of this section.

True Story...But Seriously Folks...What's Up With That?

If I ever say any of those, on stage or off, please kill me and any offspring I have (and don't worry about the order in which you do it). The same goes for anytime I find the need to tell people how someone must have been smoking pot, how the government is messed up and anytime I want to tell an anecdote about just breaking up with my girlfriend or being pulled over by the police. But when I pick up a guitar or a puppet, just sit back and prepare for brillant hilarity. Below is some of the drivel I have performed on stage.

Me And Mr. Lefty

The real story (don't believe a thing that cocklicker says) of our rise and fall from comedy superstardom.

Dear Delilah

Fake request/advice letters I sent to the syndicated queen of sappy radio.

Notice To Comics: If you must steal my material; for the love of god, do it well. I have been hacked so poorly in the past. If you rip me off, all I ask is that you at least do my material justice and do it well.
Hey lady--shit or get off the urinal.