There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Since the overwhelming success of my personal ads (see left column) has given me more crazy ass than I can shake a tiny dick at, I decided to help all you uneloquent slobs string together a few words to help improve the chances of your romantic endeavors as well.

So, before you spend tons of money on Match.com and waste countless hours browsing myspace pages and dirtying your hands with the ink from newspaper personal ads only to end up pickled in a 55 gallon drum in Linn County, Kansas with your sexual organs stuffed in your mouth because your Craiglist date didn't go quite as well as you planned, give the ole Porkjerky.com Guaranteed Pickup Lines a chance.

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Code For Pickup Lines

Simply paste the above code into your website's files wherever you want me to appear on your site to seduce your visitors with my romantic verses. What appears at the top of this page is exactly what will appear on yours. Remember, I only help you hook the fish, its up to you to make reservations at Applebee's, shower, borrow your mom's Windstar Wagon and set the mood back at your place with satin Spider-Man sheets, potpourri and 2 Live Crew softly playing in the background.

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These are my gift to you, don't be afraid to use them. But remember, these will work and you can't rape the smitten.

When it comes to being condescending, someone like you could never match my abilities.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.