Porkjerky.com Guaranteed Pickup Lines|
Since the overwhelming success of my personal ads (see left column) has given me more crazy ass than I can shake a tiny dick at, I decided to help all you uneloquent slobs string together a few words to help improve the chances of your romantic endeavors as well.
So, before you spend tons of money on Match.com and waste countless hours browsing myspace pages and dirtying your hands with the ink from newspaper personal ads only to end up pickled in a 55 gallon drum in Linn County, Kansas with your sexual organs stuffed in your mouth because your Craiglist date didn't go quite as well as you planned, give the ole Porkjerky.com Guaranteed Pickup Lines a chance.
It's free, its simple and its guaranteed to put stanky on your hang down (or even hang down on your stanky, stanky on your stanky or hang down on your hangdown, this works no matter your gender or sexual deviation)---or quadruple the price you pay for it back.
Simply paste the above code into your website's files wherever you want me to appear on your site to seduce your visitors with my romantic verses. What appears at the top of this page is exactly what will appear on yours. Remember, I only help you hook the fish, its up to you to make reservations at Applebee's, shower, borrow your mom's Windstar Wagon and set the mood back at your place with satin Spider-Man sheets, potpourri and 2 Live Crew softly playing in the background.
The Porkjerky.com Guaranteed Pickup Lines are excellent ice breakers/aphrodisiacs no matter the media, even offline and in the real world. So take the time to memorize a few and have them ready whenever you are out at Star Trek Conventions or Weight Watchers or the free clinic or stalking the cashier at Starbucks who accidentally lead you on by doing thier job and being polite to you which you again mistook for undying infatuation.
These are my gift to you, don't be afraid to use them. But remember, these will work and you can't rape the smitten.