There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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I have decided to combine the two great loves of my life--improving the web one shitty page at a time and lubelessly buttfucking girls with low self-esteem. That's right, at the same time I am helping you drastically enhance the look and content of your miserable site you will be helping me achieve my lifelong dream of cornholing girls whose daddies never were around or whose mothers are overbearing perfectionists or maybe they are fresh out of an abusive relationship or maybe, just maybe they have a geniune psychological disorder I can exploit. Who cares really?

The point is, you get a better site and I have a way of finding idiot, bipolarish chicks who are desperate for love/acceptance/self-esteem/attention and who may not like it in their browneye, but for whatever reason will take it there.

Dreams don't have to make sense.

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To make this happen here's what you need to do: Paste the above code into your website wherever you want one of my personal ads to appear. Then, whenever some crazy bitch visits your site out pops a random personal ad for me (there's probably 8 total). She see's it, gets in contact with me, I pretend its really a joke but say 'Hey wouldn't it be funny if it really did work though and I ended up fucking your ass?', and laugh again, pretending that that joke was a joke, but not really.

We continue to exchange emails during which time I find her weakness (she's stupid, she's ugly/fat, she thinks she'll never get married, she can't get over that abortion she had when she was 17--again, who cares as long as I find it) and I use it to destroy what self-esteem she has.

Finally, I tell her what she wants to hear--everything is great and will be better. She's smart, she's attractive, any guy would love to make her his wife, her aborted baby is having fun in heaven playing with Eric Clapton's kid, her whites will get whiter, her brights will get brighter and happiness will be had by all--if only she lets me pound her in the pooper.

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Then when I am done, I wipe my dick in her hair, tell her its not working out because she's not fat enough, steal every clock in her house and flush all her silverware--just to fuck with her mind even more. I'm not saying its right, its just what I do. Some people like big tits, some people like drinking hermaphrodite asian pee, some like gang banging little kids, Greg Jacobs once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Again, dreams don't have to make sense.

Really, who is anyone to judge anyone else's fetish? Mine just happens to be assfucking crazy bitches then clogging their toilets with forks and making off with every timepiece she has.

I don't know why, I just do. Again, thanks and your welcome.

I'm probably such a narcissistic, unsympathetic prick because of my upbringing: My grandmother just breast fed me too long.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.