There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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What A Crock Of Shit Site I Run

Or Maybe Access Denied...

Or perhaps I think you're too god damn stupid to understand the actual page that you requested so I gave you this error page instead. Who fucking knows? Or cares? It's even possible that I am such a capricious prick that I set up my site to randomly select visitors to get directed here instead of the link they wanted.

In any case, you're not seeing the page you requested. So here's your options turdbucket:

  • Hit your 'Back' button.
  • Select an item from the menus at the top or bottom or left of this page.
  • Wait 20 seconds for this page to redirect you.
  • Why the fuck am I even writing this list?
  • You know how the fucking internet works.
  • And if you don't, then you deserve the spyware that's downloading to your computer.
  • As well as, the credit card and social security numbers that I am taking off of it.

In conclusion, this isn't the page you wanted. If you continue to be directed here, then quit doing whatever it is you're fucking doing to be directed here.

I'm a pioneer in the field of being an asshole: To this day I am the only person to break off an engagement via the JumboTron at a sporting event.
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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.