Hi, I’m A Douchebag

I get queasy at the sight of blood, so please somebody please slit my wrists for me. I got an email today from some pretentious fuck. How did I know they were a pretentious fuck? They told me. Not in so many words, but in so many letters. Their email signature said something like ‘Tinydick […]

The day after I start taking pride in my lawn is the day I need to be 6 feet beneath it.