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R.I.P.->Remembering Tom Hutchinson With Shit

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R.I.P. Main Submit A Cross Make Your Own Roadside Memorial
Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Tom Hutchinson
tomhutchinson.com
Memorial For Tom Hutchinson

To:   info@tomhutchinson.com

Re:   Roadside Crosses/Your Trip To Missouri

Hi, my name is jason curless and I wanted to find out what you think about roadside crosses--like when someone dies and then people put up a sort of memorial to them. So if you have 5 seconds could you let me know specifically about:

1. Pro or Con?

2. Would you want one if you died in a car accident?

3. Have you ever or would you ever erect one?

4. Ever been to Missouri?

Thanks a lot,

jason curless

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To:   jason@porkjerky.com

Re:   Thanks for the inquiry!

Thank you for inquiring into our services. We will be contacting you very shortly.

Sincerely yours,

Tom Hutchinson
Licensed Mortgage Broker
Approved Mortgage Consultants

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To:   info@tomhutchinson.com

Re:   Unanswered Inquiry

This is regarding an e-mail you sent me 2 weeks ago which was in response to a couple questions I e-mailed you. To my e-mail you replied "We will be contacting you very shortly." This confused me in that, Tom Hutchinson is an "I", not a "we". I excused the pronounical error and eagerly awaited your(singular) impending and promised reply.

Alas it has not come. Therefore allow me to iterate my questions.

1. Roadside Crosses: Pro or Con?

2. Would you want one if you died in a car accident?

3. Have you ever or would you ever erect one?

4. Ever been to Missouri?

Thanks again,

jason curless

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To:   jason@porkjerky.com

Re:   Thanks for the inquiry!

Thank you for inquiring into our services. We will be contacting you very shortly.

Sincerely yours,

Tom Hutchinson
Licensed Mortgage Broker
Approved Mortgage Consultants

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To:   info@tomhutchinson.com

Re:   Dead or Alive?

Dear Tom Hutchinson, or his Estate,

Along with my past unanswered e-mails I have other evidence that leads me to believe that Tom Hutchinson has died. This e-mail will be my last to you and will be used to verify your/his deceaseditude.

Now, if you are alive Tom, please confirm that you are by responding to this e-mail and including my name in the body of the message. Any response that does not include my name will be considered an auto-response/form e-mail and will be my confirmation that Mr. Tom Hutchinson of tomhutchinson.com is dead. Therefore please respond to this e-mail and include my name in the body of the message, even if that message is just 'Fuck off Jason Curless, you pig-fucking little-dicked jewish mexican whore.'

Thank you for your time or sorry for your loss (whichever the case may be),

jason curless

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To:   jason@porkjerky.com

Re:   Thanks for the inquiry!

Thank you for inquiring into our services. We will be contacting you very shortly.

Sincerely yours,

Tom Hutchinson
Licensed Mortgage Broker
Approved Mortgage Consultants

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There you have it, unfortunately. Undeniable proof that Tom Hutchinson of tomhutchinson.com has passed.

God Speed, Tom Hutchinson, God Speed

Please feel free to contact info@tomhutchinson.com and express your heartfelt sorrow and see about getting cash for the equity in your home, in this, their hour of grief.

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*12/30/2013 - The emotional rollercoaster you just experienced isn't over yet. At least 10 years after I gave that bastard 3 chances to confirm his fat ass didn't die on an interstate in Missouri, he got around to emailing me. Mostly so I would update the pic of him showing that he no longer is a fat ass. Despite my better judgement, which isn't that great to begin with, I told him I would also allow him to post a message on this page:

Jason, I'm happy to say that I have risen from the grave. I'm sorry for delay in responding to your emails, I've spent the last 12 years looking for the asshole who stole my favorite red flannel shirt from my father's scarecrow. You can imagine my surprise when I saw your selfie (before they were cool) standing next to a roadside memorial bearing my name and you are wearing my obviously stolen shirt. Well played my friend, well played.

Alive and kicking,
The Real Tom Hutchinson

I am one misspelling filled hate mail away from repenting, apologizing and giving my life over to christ. Send yours to jason@porkjerky.com. I am sure it will be the one.