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R.I.P.->Glorifying Julia Dominquez Salazar With Shit

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Julia Dominquez Salazar
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Memorial For Julia Dominquez Salazar

God:     Julia Dominquez Salazar, can I make you an offer?

JDS:     Yes, lord, please!

God:     How would you like to live a healthy happy active life until age 98? (and then die horrifically in a car accident on 9/26/2012)

JDS:     Absolu... Wait. Did you say something after 'age 98'?

God:     What I said was, 'How would you like to live a healthy happy active life until age 98? (and then violently be impaled by a motorcyle and expire in the middle of the highway)

JDS:     See, I keep hearing stuff after the 'age 98' part. Maybe its me... (long awkward pause)

God:     So....yeah. Do we have a deal?

JDS:     Absolutely. A wonderful life all the way until 98? Count me in.

God:     (and then die in excrutiating pain in an automobile accident).

JDS:     Huh?

God:     Oh, nothing.

By all means, e-mail me your thoughts, opinions, concerns and heartfelt wishes to jason@porkjerky.com. I can't sell your address to pornographic spammers otherwise.