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R.I.P.->Honoring Tanner D. Twitchell With Crap

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Tanner D. Twitchell
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Memorial For Tanner D. Twitchell

Oh god, its happening. Get the children. Stock up on canned food, bottle water, ammo and bibles. Move to the cellar, turn on the AM radio and just try to survive.

As foretold by a wise man, its all coming true. My dream is being realized.

Everything I found, virtual and real-world, commemorating Tanner D. Twitchell's symbolize the entering of what I like to call the hybrid period of shitty memorials. Hopefully its a transitional period and not the final stage. Not only did Tanner D. Twitchell get a real-life, hard copy version of a shitty memorial that someone crapped out onto a literal highway and will one day will fall into disrepair and junk up the scenery to annoy everyone--he got a ton of fucking virtual shitty memorials that themselves have fallen into various stages of disrepair and are junking up the side of the information highway.

When I googled 'Tanner Twitchell', I initiall thought I found a shit ton of pages for him and his death. Wrong. While I did find a couple of stories about his demise, I also found a shit ton of dead links to pages that used to be about him and his death. Facebook, myspace, YouTube, even his own url all popped up on my search. But social media, like time and trash in a ditch, moves on. His memory is now a shitty green cross somewhere in Jackson County, MO and a ton of broken and dead links on the web. His memory may live on in someone's heart, but in the cache of google, his legacy is on life support at best.

What a great new world we live in. Now instead of just a shitty pile of lumber, tattered flags, smashed pinwheels, mildewing stuffed animals and weather beaten plastic flower stems; add Page Not Found errors, broken links and dead images to your deceased loved ones' memories.

As always: They would have wanted it that way.

As openly a callous prick that I am, it amazes me that people still overestimate my ability to care or think that I value their opinions. Prove me right at jason@porkjerky.com.