Solving Problems That Do Not Exist

When it comes to ignorant disillusionedness only fat ugly bitches can match the hubris of bloggers.

I used to work with a misinformed, mangled-faced manatee. One day she lost her keys and everyone in the office was halfheartedly looking for them. Honestly, we were all pretty sure that they went down her gullet when she was scarfing up one of her lunches that day. Somehow though, despite lack of effort and not caring, I found them. And started cracking up, to the point of tears.

You Can't Rape The Fat And Ugly

On her key-chain was pepper spray, a rape whistle and a sexual assault hot-line trinket. Talk about wishful thinking. That’s like not owning a car but walking around with a gas can so you won’t run out of gas. Or the Amish worrying about Y2K. She was prepared for a problem that would never exist for her.

That fat bitch’s key-chain is exactly what I think about every time I see a shitty copyright notice on a shitty blog.

Oh fuck, somebody’s going to steal my rant about why I hate school and make a ton of money off of it. I better put a copyright notice on my blog. Don’t want someone trying to plagiarize my dissertation about all the logical inconsistencies between the new Star Wars Trilogy and the old Star Wars Triology. I need to get a legal notice up on my blog A.S.A.P.

You dumb fucks are too cute.

Here’s just a quick list of blogs with absolutely no inherent worth, but delusions of grandeur anyhow:

At Home Mom Blog

Don’t even think about stealing excerpts of her post of how Paypal fucked her.

Beautyholics Anonymous Blog

I swear to god, if you reuse her images of her makeup kit for commercial purposes…well, it won’t be pretty.

The Play Bingo Blog

The blue haireds will put you in a world of hurt if you copy and paste any material from this site.

Christian Blog Sites

May god have mercy on your soul if you republish the story of Carmi’s breast tumor and/or mastectomy, because god’s lawyers sure the fuck won’t.

Almost as good as the idea that anyone would want to steal the turds they are plopping on the internet is these fucks misunderstanding of copyright. I’m fairly certain they didn’t run their copyright notices by any lawyer that ever even took the bar exam, must less passed it.

The most disappointing thing is there’s absolutely nothing of value to steal on their blogs. I looked and I looked, I wanted to find an image, a paragraph, something I could post it on this blog. Then I was going to email them and dare them to sue me. But there was nothing, absolutely nothing of any value to steal.

That’s ok, I have a backup plan. I heard from an old co-worker that the fat bitch still works at that same place. I think I’ll swing by next week and rape her on her lunch break.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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I always, I mean always hand out candy on Halloween. Its my way of letting the world know I'm not a convicted pedophile.