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Gallery->Failed Pics->Jason Behind The Lens

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Hey Little Girl...
(Self Portraits)

Want To See My Pixels & Bits?

Above, in geographical, reverse chronological and biggest waste of my life order are: me in Vegas, me in Denver and me in college.

My Photography Is Pretty Shitty

Get it? Oh fuck I kill me. Where do I come up with this stuff? Get it--"shitty"? Oh my god I'm gonna piss myself I'm so funny. Freaking christ that's good. My Photography Is Pretty Shitty. I am so fucking dead on. I probably fart witty and puke insightful observation. Jesus almighty fuck thats a good one.

Allow me to explain in terms you might be able to understand. The toilet is filled with excrement and I am not a good photographer; ergo, my My Photography Is Pretty Shitty. Get it? You see, I use the duality in the meaning of the word shitty to make a humorous statement that is quite pointed, opinionated and factual; all at the same time. When I say "My Photography Is Pretty Shitty" (emphasis mine), I am using the notion that it is "bad", or somehow not good. I am playing on the figurative meaning of the word shitty for this point. Yet, in the same instance I am also playing to the fact that there is literally feces in the toilets that I photographed. As most people know, feces is commonly know by its street name, if you will, as "shit". So to call it shitty, is to use that concept as an adjective to describe the state of the toilet.

You see, when I say "My Photography Is Pretty Shitty", I am playing to both the literal and figurative meanings of the word "shitty". Now do you get it? Trust me, its funny. Read over this a couple times, look up the big words in the dictionary, ask someone to explain it to you, but trust me, it is hilarious. And when you have to piss and crap because your laughing so hard don't ask to use my toilet--I've been burned before.

Shitty Picture #1
Shitty Picture #2
Shitty Picture #3

Sign of The Apocalypse
An Evergreen Next To A Palm Tree?

What's next? Dogs will like cats, cats will like dogs, women will make as much as a man for the same job and then before you know it they're enforcing that Emancipation Proclamation thing. No thank you, sir.

Art Nouveau De Mon Derriere

Here's a sample from my collection titled People Taking Pictures. Its a concrete, yet abstract representation of how art, is no longer art. It is just a molestation of media that is just used to mark the passing of one person's being thru these 4 dimensions we know as life. Art has gone from belonging to the social elite, to the art afficiondo, to the common person and now to it has become so banal that art in its original meaning no longer exists due to the mass propagation of it by people who have no concept of the notion.

And the Japanese lady on the right had huge hooters, which is odd in itself, plus it was extremely cold because her nipples, which must have been the size of silver dollars were sticking out like two javelins from her chest. Although you can't see it through her bag and elbow. And the 2 chicks in the middle had been all over each other just a moment before, unfortunately this picture was the only one that developed. And of course the guy on the left's butt crack was showing bigger than all get out and it was all hairy and sweaty because it was hot and humid out and I don't think you can tell from the picture but if I remember correctly he was wearing thong underwear and his pants were a size two big, so had I captured that; it would have been an awesome picture.

So, I guess the real message is: Jason owns a camera.

Picture Taking Picture #1
Picture Taking Picture #2
Picture Taking Picture #3

Black eyes, cigarette burns, broken bones, born addicted to crack, white supremacy tattoos: None of those come close to signaling that you're a horrible parent like having a fat kid.