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Free Shit->Web Translator

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Bored at work, but too new, naive, prissy or porky to masturbate underneath your desk? Well, this will provide you with seconds upon seconds of entertainment. In the form above, enter the full url of a website, select a translation, then click the button. The site you selected will pop up and be translated as you command.

Or, use the below form to translate some text of your own. Copy in an office memo or paste an email from your boss or just type in the preamble to the constitution (they made you memorize it for a reason) and click the button to convert it.

Text Translator
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Okay, here's how all those buttons work--its like the memory buttons on a calculator. I know, I know, me too. Those fucking M+, MC, MR and MS buttons are as worthless as tits on a retard, but the ones above are a little easier to use. First, enter whatever text you want, then click 'Keep Text', that stores what appears in the text area. Then you can convert your text or what not, and when you want to get back to the text you saved, click the 'Reload Text' button and whatever you saved will be put back in. 'Clear Text' simply deletes all text in the box. Godspeed.

Just once I want a news report about the hundreds of thousands of us who accidentlessly drive home drunk every night.