There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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You too can have a great suicide note just like Kurt Cobain, Princess Dianna and David Caruso wrote without all that pretentious hijacker crap about "Allah this...jihad that...blah blah blah...20 virgins...death to american pigs...stay in school...mecca hajj tortilla" that all the kids are so into these days.

Select a reason, fill in your name, click a PS message and hit the "Write Note" button. Then, pussy out, take a 50-hour a week job you hate, marry the first person that feigns interest in you, have some dissappointing and ungrateful children, purchase a ton of your local sports team's merchandise, spend countless hours fantasizing about the happiness you are going to buy when you win Powerball and eagerly await your natural death.

* Porkjerky.com does not condone suicide. Of course Porkjerky.com does not, not condone suicide either. You do what you feel is best and remember--cut diagonally or long ways, not across
Jerk or get out of the circle.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.