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Free Shit->Breakup Letter Generator

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Breakup Letter Generator
Your Name
Your Gender
Ex's Name
Time Together
Breakup Reason
P.S. Message

There's a time in all of our relationships when we find someone much hotter, wealthier and/or more endowed than who we are with. Let me ease these opportunistic times by providing a breakup letter. Select a reason, enter some info add a P.S. message and click the button. Then, just for fun, go get a restraining order or credit card in your ex's name. They're both fun and remarkably easy to get.

*These letters are mostly heterosexualcentric. Mainly, because as our laws, religions and televisions demonstrate, homosexuals do not have real relationships to breakup from, just casual sex ones. Multiple scientific studies have conclusively shown that they are just too busy for them with all the redecorating and child molesting they do. It's a medical fact.
Quantum computing? DNA sequencing? Deep Space exploration? No. Over the last 20 years the achievements in those pale in comparison to the advancements humanity has made in passive aggressiveness. Silently unfriending, blocking from online feeds, not returning likes. Jesus, the leaps in conveying subtle resent through emojis alone is amazing.